Fighting with Feelings
by gregory taylor
Summary: Logan considers his feeling while watching Rogue one night. The Wolverine makes his feelings known. fluff no smut just thoughts. semi angsty
It wasn't uncommon for him to be here during the night. _Only on bad nights._ Nightmare nights. Tonight wasn't a bad night per say, but it was far from good. The entire day he'd been home she'd ignored him. _Perhaps he'd earned it_ , but Logan hated to think about it, was trying his best to not give her any thought. The Wolverine growled inside his head irritated at Logan's lack of cooperation.

She was always a mystery to him. She could calm him like no other ever had and in the next instant have the beast raging and pacing like no tomorrow. She controlled parts of him it took ages to learn to command. These were all reasons he gave himself when he ran. He couldn't be around someone like that who took his control. Not that she'd ever hurt him but he had to learn to accept that a child could rule him like that.

On a normal night he wouldn't here, not here here but at the mansion at all. He'd been drifting for years now and the school, the team and even the girl couldn't change that, but somehow he always he came home to her. The first time he had been out for eight months after the Statue of Liberty incident, just working for Chuck, enjoying the road. He'd finished a job out west and had nowhere to be, so he turned in bike back east and set out for "home" just to have a destination. After eight days ride he arrived at a quarter after three in the morning, parking by the gate to avoid waking anyone up with the roar of the bike. He'd smiled to himself how funny it would be to just come to breakfast the next day and ask what's cooking, the irritated look on Scott's face would be enough to make up for his road weariness. All plans of surprise were ruined when the front door opened as Logan rounded the garage. Light flooded the front lawn and a small figure cut across the grass. He only had to wonder who it was for a second before her smell hit him, a another second later she did.

"Logan!" She beamed. "I knew it was you! I just knew! I've been waiting all day!" She babbled. Logan detached her arms from around his neck and looked over her. _She was a mess,_ she must have just woken up. Her hair was scattered all direction and was sticking out at odd angles. The last time he'd seen her a few days after the statue she'd been combed and kempt and this surprised him pleasantly.

"Kid, why are you awake?" He asked interrupting whatever thing she was babbling. She rolled her eyes and brushed her hair out of her face.

"You would hassel be about my bedtime before saying hello Grandpa!" She laughed. Logan frowned slightly but inside the beast was purring, _so happy to see her_ , as was the man. "But like I was saying I just had this feeling and then I smelled you at the gate! I thought I was going crazy but I guess I should always trust my instincts."

"You mean My instincts" He cut across. Logan felt so guilty. He had hoped that his mind would fade from her's sooner or later. He knew it was there but he had hoped. "Is he?" Logan struggled for the world "Am I giving you trouble?" He finally settled. Marie stopped walking to turn and face him.

"No, honestly he's okay. He helps with the others" She said softly searching his face. It was like she was reassuring him.Logan's mind snorted, _she was trying to take care of him._ "He's good Logan. We're good." Logan felt a part of him melt, _God she was was so sweet._ Innocent if it wasn't for him up there. He let it go he couldn't fight with her.

From that night on he had made it a habit to come home at least twice a year. He'd stay for a week or so mostly hanging out with her and debriefing Chuck. When she was 17 and had started dating he'd stayed an entire month to make sure every boy and man in the mansion from 11 to Chuck himself, knew that she belonged to him and if they hurt her, he'd end them. Eventually Rogue had ushered him away, knowing he was growing edgier everyday he stayed.

"Logan I think they get the picture I doubt anyone will date me now you've done your job" She laughed. "You need to go the Wolverine is going crazy." and of course she was right so he'd gone. They had grown close during that those times and even when he was on the road the Wolverine's thought were with the girl. She was a balm on his rough life, and her presence alone made the wolverine roll over like a contented puppy. They'd had bad time too of course, Jean, Magneto, the government but nothing they couldn't take together.

He'd delighted to see her grow, powerful and brave and beautiful. Kind and compassionate _and kick-ass._ He loved her more with each growing day, even if he'd never say it.

It had always been a thought of his, what if she'd been older, even a year or so... Then she'd actually grow to be "older" and his visits stopped calming him as they had been doing. They stirred something he'd fought so long to ignore. Every goodbye was bittersweet and the last time she'd not even bothered.

She simply knew him too well. He had not discussed his desire to leave just decided one day it would be his last. He headed to breakfast with a lump in his throat knowing he'd need to tell her. She had set out a cup of black coffee for him and was busy making toast for the two of them when he arrived. His was smothered in apple butter and his plate had nothing but bacon on it. He smiled and made to say something but she help up a hand eyes sad. He hadn't needed to say anything she knew. He gave her a weak smile and accepted the food. They ate in silence glad no one was up yet to interrupt them. When he'd finished Logan went to open his mouth only to find a gloved finger across his mouth. She shook her head and growled softly.

That sound. That beautiful, angry, animal sound set fire to his bones. The beast howled with a vengeance and demanded he take her. shove the plate to the side and fuck her on the dining room table. Even the man was far too aware of her. How close she was, how tight his jeans had suddenly become. Every nerve ending was on standby waiting for him to leap into action. and if it had been anyone but his sweet Marie, he might have. Instead he ran. From the room. From the school. _From her._

Now here he was a year later, at 4 in the morning on the observation deck of the Danger Room. Only the room was currently being occupied by the girl herself. Logan wondered if he should interrupt but after a few seconds of watching he decided it would be better to let her finish this session. The timer on the screen to the left of him indicated she had three minutes to the session left. That meant she had been there for close to two hours. Chuck had installed a countdown to save money after it became apparent when Logan stayed up all night he had no intention of stopping tearing apart robot enemies to save money.

She stood crouched slightly fists fight back to back with a slightly shorter automaton fighting behind her. She was undoubtedly fierce and beautiful. She was in her long green pajamas and her hair looked as if it hadn't been brushed in a few days. Logan thought back to the girl who greeted him on the lawn that morning so long ago. He smiled softly before making a realization that made his heart clench. _She was fighting with her fists._ Which wasn't the end of the world until you accounted for the fact that she was ripping her attackers limb from limb. Guilt rushed through his veins hot and seedy making his eyes sting as if he were about to cry. Below him, she sank her hands into the midsection of a bot and tore it viciously appart spending the two pieces flying in opposite corners of the room. He had never seen so much of himself in the girl. He always knew the beast was in her head but he had no idea anything like this happened. She was in a berserker rage, his mind supplied.

After the Statue he had awoken in the mansion on a cot next to hers. The others were watching her nervously waiting for the small teenager to awaken.

"Don't worry I'm fine" He muttered sitting up slowly swinging his legs over the side and also looking at the small figure beside him. Her eyes fluttered open and those in the room released a collective sigh. Even he had to admit he was nervous his stunt might not have worked.

"Rogue, Do you know where you are?" Jeannie had asked softly. The girl sat up slowly and pushed her hair out of her face running her hand threw the mismatched locks. Her eyes trailed over the occupants of the room not even pausing on him. That would have been the first clue but it wasn't until her eyes lighted upon the professor did it click something was amiss.

"Charles?" She asked with a slight accent. Her mouth curled into a cruel smirk. "Surprised to see me, old friend?" She gave a humorless professor looked alarmed for a moment before frowning and slipping into his concentration face. The girl shuddered violently before Charles' broke panting.

"Where the fuck am I?" She snarled. Instantly Logan knew what he was looking at. It was equal parts amazing and terrifying. This was the Wolverine. The homicidal tendencies of a full grown killer packed into the mind of a 14 year old girl. Logan growled to get her attention. The hairs on her neck stood on end and her eyes snapped to meet his. He bared his teeth slightly repeating the sound. It was amazing to watch, he wondered later if he was that expressive. Her eyes showed her thoughts, for a moment she considered fighting him, perhaps she could have done some serious damage too. Instead she frowned heavily and whined pitifully in her throat.

"Kid" Logan said softly never taking his eyes from hers. "Listen Kid, you need to teach him who's boss. You're no ones bitch" He said firmly. Her face scrunched as if she was considering his words. Then she pressed a hand to her forehead.

"Logan?" She sounded lost. "Logan, what's happening?" She muttered, the others in the room seemed to relax yet again but not as entirely as before. Logan sighed heavily and looked a Charles who shook his head. The bald man had nothing to do with her comeback. Logan felt a great shame he had cursed her with his mind and hoped strongly the beast would fade over time. Looking at her right now he could see it as clearly as that first day.

Rogue snarled and ripped yet another bot in parts. The way she moved was fluid and beautiful in and of itself. If he hadn't know it was his madness driving her skills he'd be impressed. Instead self hate flared and he wished he'd never met her. Never cursed her. _She'd be better off._ The timer went off and all the attacking robots faded. The training dummy she had been practicing with turned to face her waiting for orders. She panted heavily and let her body slowly relax. Logan couldn't hear her breathing but he was sure she was heaving. His own killing sprees took at least 5 minutes of concentration to cool off from. Her shoulders heaved and she remained facing away from the bot. Slowly the grey hands of her partner reached out and pulled her to him. Logan watched, holding his breath, as her bare skin rested on the collarbone of the metal man. He was short but bulky. Logan swallowed heavily, he could try to deny that the bot was meant to be him but he was never one for lying to himself. She allowed herself to be held as she calmed down. In the next moments that passes a new smell touched Logan's nose, salt on skin; not the smell of sweat rolling down her back or forehead but a stronger smell. _Tears._ She was crying.

Logan sniffed harder. _Perhaps she was less like him than he thought._ It was a good thing, he reasoned. The Wolverine didn't cry. On occasions that tears did fall from Logan's eyes the man shed them not his other half. On the other hand he hated to see her upset. If possible another layer of self loathing added itself to the man's mind. Shame and frustration welled up inside him and angry tears gathered at the edge of his vision. He always hated that he cried when he was angry. Below him in a sudden movement he didn't quite see Rogue had ripped apart the imitation man embracing her. The torso half nearest to him sparked pathetically as her betrayed comrade shut down. Logan watched the life drain out of the mechanic and when he looked to see the Rogue again she was gone.

Alone in the observation deck, Logan sank into a chair head in his hands. Memories of the day he left, the massacre he just witnessed and the girl's soft and easy smile bounced around in his mind. He had taken that sweet charming little girl and ruined her. Added that hate and destruction that she should never have known. Sure the beast wanted her, physically and for a mate, but as an adult Logan should have known better. It was his responsibility to protect her from all the things he'd burdened her with. The Wolverine didn't realise he was crying until a tear rushed passed his nose and dripped off his face. He snorted a harsh snotty sound.

"Maybe I'm more like her than I knew" He chuckled. _If only it worked that way,_ that she could gift some of herself to him.

"You are both very worthy people Logan"

At this voice Logan jumped his claws extending and his face shooting up. Only Chuck could sit so serenely when being threatened in his own house. Logan retracted the blades with a grunt whipping his face.

"I thought it was you wasting my money so late at night. It's not surprising Rouge has taken your place. She has undergone a lot this year without you." Charles seemed to be looking past him. Maybe he was thinking about the year, maybe he was talking to the stars. Chuck never had to be far to be far from you. "I know you long to do right by her Logan. You are an honorable man. Never forget that she has a say in her life as well." Gray eyes refocused on Logan and the old man gave a small smile. "You will always be welcome in my home Wolverine as long as you stop scratching up the doors." And he glided backward out of the room. The remaining man snorted once more shaking his head. Was it better to be lead by a wild animal or try and wrangle the fucking Dalai Lama in your mind? His inner animal gave a soft growl. Logan sighed.

 _Probably the Dalai Lama._

The morning found Logan stirring in the same chair. The smell of bacon itched his nose. Confused he sat up his neck cracking loudly. Standing in front of him holding a plate of bacon and perfectly apple buttered toast. She shot him a hesitant goofy smile.

"Mornin' sugar" She said softly. Logan made no moved to accept the plate so she sat in on the controls beside him with a sigh. "You didn't make breakfast in time and your room was empty so I figured you'd be here still feeling sorry for yourself" She let her hands fall beside her. Logan's eyes studied her face. She was such a contradiction sometimes. Understable when you accounted for all the personalities in her mind, but times like this she was nervous almost sheepish and yet unashamed that he knew she'd been here the night before. Seemingly unbothered by the fact he watched her fight out her feelings. Feelings of what? _Feelings for who?_

He had spent too long looking at her apparently because he brown eyes were locked with his own now and her face showed an innocent confusion.

"What?"

"I'm not sure" He admitted. "You know why I left don't you Marie?" She nodded. Hopefully she'd let him get this all out before she spoke her mind, _doubtful but hopefully._ " Well I think it's fair I tell you why I came back. I want to be with you. Maybe that's wrong, I dont' know anymore. I tried shaking it this past year, but the Wolverine knows best and he thinks you're it. I know there's lots of things that won't work out with us but I dont need to touch you darlin', just need you to know how important you are. How much I…." Logan's eyes dropped to the ground. To his surprise so did the Rogue. She smiled up at him from her knees. The other side of him noted this submissive choice with interest, Logan wished he's shut the hell up for once.

"Logan, I don't think there's anything wrong with you and me. I think we've had a long hard road comin' together and we should be as happy as we damn well want. Did you think I could know you so well and not notice you cared Sugar?" She gave a watery giggle. She smelled like happiness and nervous. Joy and fear. _Home and himself._

"I love you girl" He grunted. The admission would have been inaudible had she not been seated on her knees in front of him. Her long lashes rested on her cheeks as she closed her eyes, savoring his words? Bracing herself to let him down? Slowly with the patience of someone who didnt not have the wolverine in their mind she closed the gap between her forehead and his legs. Her warm skin pressed against his kneecaps threw his jeans. The contact felt like fire to the man. The beast in him howled and he gave a light growl to reprieve the noise in his head. She sat back looking at him carefully. He knew she could make these noises. Noises that from her seemed like sin itself, but did she understand them? How could she? Who besides Logan could have taught her?

"I've got something else to tell you Logan" She whispered. The monster huffed disappointed his mate didn't understand him. Logan arched a brow voice to thick to speak. Rising on her knees she pressed her lips gently to his, partly in offering partly a demonstration. Almost an answer to his growl. Stunned he pulled back hands holding her face touching her bare skin for the first time without threat of death.

"So what do you need to tell me?" He said stupidly. A look of surprise and amusement lighted in her beautiful eyes. He was glad the dumb joke had lightened the moment. This was a little much to handle. He was barely holding on to control as it was. She was once again that force to pull him, calm but on edge. Relaxed but ready. Within boundaries but out of control.

She tilted her head back and howled.

 _Fuck that._


End file.
